Kulia ni Ebenezzer Masawe na Ernest Masaka- Long time friends
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Thursday, May 31, 2012
NYIMBO ZITAKAZOIMBWA LEO ALHAMISI- SANDTON CITY MOTEL
Masikitiko- Kyanga Songa
Nimemkaribisha Nyoka- Kasaloo Kyanga
Rangi ya Chungwa
Dunia ina Mambo- Sandton Sound band
Rehema – Sandton Sound Band
Marina- Sandton Sound Band
Maze- Tabu ley
Nadina- Mbilia Bell
Kisanola – Koffii
Zengwe- Sandton Sound Band
Maringo si tabia yangu – Sandton Sound Band
Na nyinginezo nyingiiiiiiii. . . . . SPECIAL REQUEST ZINAKARIBISHWA
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Bosi moja alikwenda kwenye mkutano, kiongozi mmoja akaanza mkutano kwa kichekesho, Akasema,'Sehemu kubwa ya maisha yangu nilipata furaha toka kwa mwanamke ambaye hakuwa mke wangu', watu wakati wanashangaashangaa akamalizia, 'Mwanamke mwenyewe ni mama yangu', watu wakacheka sana.
Siku moja kukawa na pati ya wafanyakazi na familia zao bosi akiwa ameshaweka kinywaji akaamua kurudia kile kichekesho kufurahisha wafanyakazi wake. Akaanza, 'Sehemu kubwa ya maisha yangu nilipata furaha toka kwa mwanamke na mwanamke huyo hakuwa mke wangu' Mke wa bosi hapo hapo akaguna 'Ughhh', Jamaa kwa ajili ya pombe akawa amesahau kichekesho kilikuwa kinamalizika vipi,'Akaishia halafu mwanamke mwenyewe simkumbuki'...................
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Monday, May 7, 2012
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Friday, April 27, 2012
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn't know how to say it, so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again and gave her some chicken breasts.
On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store...
(Please scroll down.)
What were you Thinking?
Her husband speaks English!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now get back to your work ! I worry about you Sometimes !
MY NEW COMPANY.
To all employees:
The following are the new employment regulations that take effect from the date of the circular and you are all required to abide to the rules!!
We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness. If you are able to get to the doctor, you are able to come into work.
Pregnancy is banned. You must first apply to your superiors and with their approval you'll then be allowed to do pregnancy. It will only be allowed once in 10yrs and you only get 1 month maternity leave. No male shall get leave related to her wife's pregnancy, sickness or even death (he is not a midwife, a doctor nor an undertaker).
Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider having anything removed.. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
Each employee will receive 104 holidays per year. They are called Saturday and Sunday..
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends or relatives. Every effort should be made to have non-employees to attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled for the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch-hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done.
ABSENT FOR YOUR OWN DEATH
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks' notice to allow time for you to train your own replacement.
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets. In the future,
we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For
instance: All employees whose names begin with 'A' will go from 8.00 to 8.20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8.20 to 8.40 and so on. If you are unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a co-worker. Both workers' supervisors must approve this exchange in writing. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the toilets. At the end of 3 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper will retract, and the door will open.
Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so they can look healthy, normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim fast and take a diet pill.
It is advised that you must come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing designer clothing we will assume that you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay rise.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation or input should be directed elsewhere.
Please deliver this message to your colleagues and have a nice & healthy days of your lives.
PS - please charge the time spent reading this email to ANNUAL LEAVE.
Monday, April 23, 2012
SHOW YA SANDTON SOUND BAND, ZIMBABWE RESORT PALE MAGOMENI KAGERA.